Tuesday, November 30, 2010

This is my essay for language art for describing place if you want to view click here.

This is my language arts essay if you want to view it click here.

3 comments:

  1. Hello Sema. I am here to review your work. The first thing I noticed was the beautiful picture, which was awesome. I noticed there is no spelling errors, and what I liked about it was that you described a beach, but I feel that it was very brief. I suggest that you could expand some paragraphs and add some more detail, because length is important, but not too much. As such, for lack of errors, I rate it 5 stars but length would give it a 2 but I will have to give you 5 stars.

    5 out of 5 Stars.

    -Odin

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  2. its to short, it needs to be longer so make it longer

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  3. Sema,
    I like your title.
    Considering the amount of class time we used, I expected more length. What you have written is very good, but more is needed to help the reader paint a good picture in their mind of your surroundings.
    You need a concluding sentence (and your last sentence seems a little odd). It seems like you were still going to write more.
    18/25

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